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Monday, 24 August 2009

to thrive or not to thrive

That is the question. I have been in surivival mode for a verrra long time.
I met a woman this summer whom I now call friend. She saw something in me that I had not only forgotten about, but wasn't sure I even believed I could resurrect. A kernel of my soul that has been so deeply buried by the pain and suffering of a chronic, unremitting clinical depression that my life has been purely about coping strategies employed moment to moment.
I was so busy, trying every day to exercise, eat healthy, journal, meditate, yoga get myself to the next day that I am lost. Lost in survival, lost in the full time job of not succumbing to the worthlessness and hopelessness that is the trademark of Depression.
Oh and so much more, the no regular sleep, the lack of appetite, the unrelenting worry wheel(anxiety,procrastination,lack of self worth and self esteem to name a few) in my brain that is the only thing that goes at mach 10 in my life. Every moment, every step filled with lead and trepidation
. Sooooo all this to say, TODAY I begin to take my life back.
I believe by shining a light on my daily struggles, the darkness/poison inside that I share with no one, I will excavate the kernel of my soul that believes in a different life. Thanks to AKAB, for giving me the spark to begin again.
Thanks to all my family, nuclear and chosen for your collective inspirations.

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