Hmmmmm, good things about autumn

FOOD FACTOID: lemons/limes--Brightly colored, well-shaped with smooth thin skin. Should feel sturdy but give ever so slightly when squeezed. Small brown splotches on limes do not affect flavor (although they are a sign of deterioration and should be consumed first. Lemons should have no hint of green.

Store @ room temp in dark, cool location or in fridge

Payoff= Phytonutrient liminoids, which appear to have anticancer, antiviral properties.

I had a quiet w/e. It was wet and grey, I read and watched football. Messin' with my light-therapy to relieve the increase in hopeless,worthless, anxiety wheel, especially @ nite, cause one of the first things to go is sleep. There is something so utterly desolate about being awake @ 3a.m. it just seems to feed the worst that depression brings up.

Sooo thought for the day is sometimes being in survival mode is what is necessary.

For now the definition of thrive will be putting these dark thoughts and feelings out here in the public domain, and try and beat the humiliation I feel for having them.

Soooo, the goal is the depression loses it's power and I will not feel broken.

Wow, just writing those words chokes me. I sooo did not want to write anything today. The victory is I did it anyway. I shared some of this darkness inside.